Am I Wrong for Banning My MIL from Seeing Her Grandchild?

A woman faced a dilemma regarding her mother-in-law’s behavior towards her unborn child. After tolerating it for a while, she reached her breaking point and decided to prevent her mother-in-law from seeing the baby. She turned to Reddit for advice, asking if she was wrong for taking such action.

The Original Poster (OP) explained that she and her husband were expecting their first child together. However, his mother’s overexcitement about becoming a grandmother started to make OP uncomfortable. The mother-in-law often referred to the unborn child as hers, claiming ownership and stating things like, “I can’t wait for my baby to be born” or “My baby is going to be so loved.” Although OP found this possessiveness discomforting, her husband advised her to ignore the remarks.

The mother-in-law had the idea of throwing a baby shower for OP. She justified it by mentioning a pact she made with her friends to celebrate their children’s weddings and baby showers. Since OP and her husband eloped, the mother-in-law felt obligated to throw a baby shower. However, when asked if OP could invite her friends, the mother-in-law declined. She stated that the baby shower was exclusively for her friends and suggested that OP could organize a separate one with her own friends. Despite having doubts, OP reluctantly agreed.

The parents spent a considerable amount of time creating a nursery registry and shared it with the mother-in-law and her friends, as per her instructions. They had planned a garden-themed nursery, and all the items on the registry reflected this theme. OP even mentioned her desire for a flower-themed cake. However, when the baby shower finally happened, OP was surprised to see a circus animal theme instead of her garden theme. She did not complain, assuming her garden idea may have been difficult to execute.

To her dismay, all the gifts she received at the baby shower were circus animal-themed, nothing matching the registry she had shared. Confused, OP checked her registry again to see if she had made a mistake. When her husband arrived and saw the presents, he, too, was confused and questioned his mother’s actions. The mother-in-law admitted that she did not like the theme chosen by her daughter-in-law and decided to create a separate registry for herself to decorate her own nursery with circus animals. This revelation left the couple speechless and infuriated.

The OP made it clear that her mother-in-law would never be allowed to see her baby. Emotions ran high, and the mother-in-law accused the couple of keeping her away from her grandchild. Soon, other family members started texting the couple, blaming them for ruining the mother-in-law’s experience of becoming a grandmother.

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the OP and believed that she was not in the wrong. In fact, many commenters suggested that she take necessary precautions against her mother-in-law. Recommendations included investing in security cameras and making it clear to the hospital staff that the mother-in-law was not allowed near the family. Redditors pointed out that the mother-in-law could have had a smaller, intimate baby shower with her own friends, instead of using it as a means to acquire items for her personal nursery.

The concerning behavior of the mother-in-law alarmed many readers. While it could have been more understandable if she had referred to the unborn baby as her “grandbaby,” the fact that she treated the OP as a surrogate was unsettling.

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